Monday, May 2, 2011

Being Part of a Team

I am so excited to be able to be part of a team that makes a difference but first let me take you back to the beginning.  When I married my husband everyone I knew thought I was crazy, why you ask?  We had known each other for a very short time, about 6 months actually and most of our communication was online due to the fact that he was in the Army and stationed at Ft. Hood and I was here in Washington State.  We only spent two weeks together in person before we were apart again and when I flew to Texas late January of 2005 to marry him I had no clue what turn our lives would take just about a year later. 

So what happened? Well the obvious is that he was blown up in Iraq, but before that we got married early February of 2005 and I pretty much got pregnant right away with our daughter.  Coban left for Iraq 2 weeks after she was born and I spent the year away from him with my family here in WA, something I wish I hadn't done looking back but you live and you learn.  In April of 2006 Coban called me one night and he sounded different, as though he was having trouble forming words and sentences.  He could hardly hear and I knew something was wrong.  At that time neither of us had any clue what a TBI was or what the IED blast had done to his head and the long term consequences he would suffer. 

I now know more about the brain than I ever thought I would,  I also know that our love for each other is stronger than what some experience in a lifetime.  I know that we can weather in any storm thrown our way because we have been through a lot of difficult things and we are still together.  Do we have a perfect marriage? No.  There are many days when I feel more like his caregiver and a Mom to him than I do a wife.  This is not even close to the life I envisioned we would be living right now, but I accept it nonetheless and I am trying very hard to be okay with it and I know God will give me the strength to get through it.

Coban now has severe frontal lobe damage and mild damage to the rest of his brain.  He suffered not only the original IED blast that was huge, but also many subsequent ones due to the fact that he was never sent out of theatre.  When he did return home I pushed for testing to figure out what was wrong with him.  It seems that over these years I have lost a lot of who I am.  My identity seems wrapped up in him and the care he needs as well as taking care of our children who are 5 and 1.  Very rarely do I find something that is for me.  That is why I am so happy to be part of VOW.  Check it out and please read the articles and listen to our Blog Talk Radio Show.   It is nice to be part of a team again.

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