Sunday, May 1, 2011

A Wave of Emotions

First of all I will start by saying it has been far too long since I posted something on here.  Quite frankly I did not like the way my blog looked, and so I didn't feel like writing on it.  With the help from a friend, I was able to give it a much needed face lift.  Having said that I will now move on to what I want to say.

This weekend has been FULL of emotions that I don't know how to even put into words.  If this turns into a huge mess, I apologize now in advance.  My husband was injured in Iraq April 29th of 2006.  On April 28th of 2011 he was finally recognized for his sacrifice by receiving his Purple Heart in a ceremony that was simple, but amazing and it is something I will never forget.  On the 29th we celebrated his 5th Alive day by just being around each other.  My hubby doesn't really like a lot of attention or fuss over it all so I tend to keep things low key out of respect for him.  The 30th was spent resting and catching up on sleep from a very busy week.  We were blessed to be able to have his brother join us from PA and along with him our daughter S was able to come home.  She had been with family for 4 months visiting and experiencing some normalcy. 

Today is the 1st of May and there was some huge news that broke all over the news.  Osama Bin Laden has finally been killed by our US troops! I am glad that our soldiers have not died in vain.  I am glad that we no longer have to hunt for him.  Unfortunately, I can not celebrate for long because I know there will be retaliation against our troops.  It is not a matter of if, but rather when.  I hate this and will continue to keep all of our troops in my thoughts and prayers.  We may have cut off the head to their operation, but I am sure they had many trained up and ready to take his place because they have known this day would come at some point.  We must continue to be vigilant in our own security here and abroad and not let this keep us from being aware of our surroundings. 

I am sure I now sound like some crazy paranoid PTSD chick, well in one sense I would say that is totally true.  I dont know of any spouse/caregiver of a wounded veteran that doesn't have some form of secondary PTSD.  It will be interesting to see the reactions of our citizens in the days to come.  It will take awhile for it all to really hit me I think.  I have so many emotions because it was his(bin laden's) men who were responsible for the IED that could have easily killed my husband.  I have a lot of reflecting to do and that will take some time.  I am so thankful that my husband made it home alive, but my heart is also so heavy for those who did not. 

I have so much I could say, but for now I think I will leave it at this.  I still can't even wrap my head around everything I have thought and felt this weekend.  I am by nature not a very emotional person, yet I find myself feeling like a good cry would be nice however the tears won't come.  I think being in a pensive state is good for me.  I hope that I will never take for granted all that has been sacrificed by my husband and others for my freedom.  I don't think people in general truly understand everything military families have given up for their ability to enjoy the freedom's so many of us never have.  I say this all the time and will again, It is not only the service member that sacrifices but also the family that loves and supports them.  We do it because we love them and because we too choose to give up so that other's don't have to. 

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